Sex

How come TV is so much sexier than my life? Hmmm. I guess I see what so many people see in you, but I will not come over to the dark side.

Top Secret

Oh! I'm so excited about my new top secret mission! I will reveal all in 24 hours time. Just wish me luck that it all goes as planned and that I am not humiliated.

Also, Leels is the best. Ever. He took me to this nice jewelery store today for christmas shopping. Super early, I know, but we wanted to get something before all the shoppers snatched all the best stuff and it's crunch time, and we hadn't seen each other in a long time, so he wanted to do something special.

So I picked out this really beautiful silver ring with a huge red stone that matched the earrings he bought me last year. It was too big, so we're getting it reproduced (exactly) in my size, so with all that it'll be here in time for Christmas, so really it was a good thing we were eager beavers. I love it! It's just gorgeous.

I so feel a bit like a traitor what with this crush thing and all, but he seems to understand. And anyway, the whole thing has stalled.

Detense

I really do wish that I could be less intense. But is that a good wish? Maybe I'm better off being intense. It does work for my writing. And it's given me some pretty meaningful exchanges and relationships.

Wild at Heart

I really do not understand those "by the book" people. How can anyone take themselves/ the world/ others so seriously that they have to do everything exactly as pre-established by some unknown (as often is the case)authority? What is wrong with you guys? Now, I'm not suggesting that everyone go crazy and throw all rules out the window. I do understand the purpose of rules in society, but I also think that a lot of those rules can be bent. But what's worse are the people who decide that something is morally correct, then refuse to budge from that stance. This is fucked!

Contacted Jessica Darling on gmail. She was unable to help me on account of still being a student and not interning anywhere, or some such thing. Fine. But then she gave me this long paragraph about how she strictly refuses to communicate with patients (and i'm not even her patient!) via email, because she finds it risky, and fears that it can pose some major ethical questions. What? Come on. This is the electronic age. Do you really think that email communication, if used carefully, is going to put your doctor-patient relationship at risk? Ok, don't discuss the uber private stuff if you're paranoid. But something as simple as will you see me now? C'mon. But, no. She must adhere to the rules.

Pot-luck was great, but I fussed over the food and cleaning so much that I barely got to socialize. People liked my beet cupcakes, which in the end were pretty good with an orange/ cream cheese frosting. Nobody seemed to mind that the frosting was a bit lumpy. I ate so much, and now there is a frightening amount of leftovers in the fridge. I guess Leels will take care of that tomorrow.

Sigh. I can't help getting all excited about people and wanting to make them my new bestfriend. I'm sorry everyone that I've scared away like this. I'm not scary! Just insane.

Eat to the Beat

Beet cupcakes are... interesting. Thanks to Leels, I have become re-obsessesed with the L word. Especially Shane. Shane is the best. Can't wait for Carmen to be introduced.

Milk It

I am such a loser! First, I always come on way too strong with people, and get all intense and in their faces and freak them out. Second, I have a really difficult time taking no as an answer. Third, I always self-destruct by pushing people over the edge. Lame. I think I've done this with mystery crush. Kept on talking at work, asking what's up, what you doing, when you taking your break. Hanging around. Even sent a couple of emails. Why does this have the scent of the DBW fiasco all over it?

Sometimes not taking no for an answer is good. Like today. I bitched at Nautilus until they agreed to refund the $40 insufficient fund fee that they caused, got Telus to lower my fee without losing my bonus minutes so I now get 500 minutes for $30 and free call i.d., and uhm... that's it.

I also got these fabulous lacoste boots. My coworkers (poor students) freaked when they saw the price tag. Ooops.

Found out my cheque for CBC lit awards did not bounce, so I'm still in the running. As much as I ever was, at least.

Right now I'm making brandied yams in the crockpot and beet cupcakes for my potluck tomorrow. Hope this turns out ok.

Dahling

I'm now hunting the net for my former psychologist, Jessica, uh, darling. She was great. I really liked her, not only because I was in awe of how perfect she seemed, but also because she was super intelligent, intuitive, and right on the money. She actually helped me a lot, although it wasn't evident at the time. Jessica Darling, where are you?

I'm royally annoyed by stuff this evening. I just want to be able to get it all together like a normal person. Instead of facing the world, I'm doing something I never do, and tuning in to television. Online.

I did have a nice surprise today talking to somebody who showed up somewhere unexpectedly. Someone with a really pretty smile. And there was that email from Precipice about publishing my work. That was good too. And I got some of Patrick's poems up on Grasshopper Reads. 'Twas an ok day. I do miss not talking to Leighland though. Damn this phone business.

Oh, and let it be known that for the past two days I have been working non-stop at McGill. Trying to get all this work done before it swallows me whole. Super productive.

I guess today's wish should be a selfless one. Let a fairy godmother grace Celeste with her presence. Nobody should have to miss a ball :( Miss lonelyhearts does not approve of this, universe.